Look stop yelling at me, I’m not pro-gun control — mostly. Also I was only a pinko commie for like 3 days back in the 90s.


Look let’s clear the table okay?

Let’s get rid of the newspapers, the unopened mail, your key chain (which doesn’t belong on the table in the first place), the magazine you were reading this morning and that retarded salt and paper shaker you bought while on vacation to Niagara Falls in 2002 (I’ve always hated those anyway).

Is the table clear?

I have to be honest here, the image selection for 'clear table' left a lot to be desired.  It was mostly images of clear tables.  So here's a semi-naked chick saying fuck off.  Win, win right?

I have to be honest here, the image selection for ‘clear table’ left a lot to be desired. It was mostly images of clear tables. So here’s a semi-naked chick saying fuck off. Win, win right? (Photo credit: I found this while drunk and forget where)

Good.

Now to be clear myself (because I guess I wasn’t very clear) I’d like to state clearly the following.

I do not support gun control.

There I feel better.    Does that clear anything up?   Maybe not because if the comments and emails I’ve received are any indication, I can’t make a point to save my life.

That last update, the one made in the wake of the school shootings where some deranged madman killed 26 people, most of them children, hit a nerve it seems.   Which struck me as odd.  I expected pro-gun control people to call me out but the majority of the feedback, let me be honest here all of the feedback, I received was from the gun rights advocates.

What the fuck?   The, poorly penned perhaps, update was me saying to the pro-gun control people, ‘gun control’ shouldn’t be on the table and even if it is you cannot win the argument.

If we assume (and it’s a bit of  leap I grant) that pro gun control people are, for the most part, liberal and also favor such things as equal marriage rights for LBGT individuals, better nationalized (Obamacare) health care and every other left-leaning, ‘suck at the state’s tit while hard working Republicans pay for it program there is’ then that blog update was a plea for all of us to collectively shut the fuck up about gun control because to argue for it expends political capital in the manner that a problem gambler spends money in Vegas.

kids with gun equals fun

I really need to do a better job with photo credits. Not idea where I found this …

You’re not going to win the argument and you’ll spend vast resources trying to the defeat it all the while giving away the things you could have here and now.  It’s pointless, stupid and hurts only you in other words.

To anyone still in favor of current gun control policy that is still with me, I repeat, we should leave guns alone.

To anyone desiring stricter gun-control laws stay with me please.

Here’s part of my point lefties, and I’m with you on like 99% of our ideals, I just break away on this one.   I don’t break away because I think it’s a good idea that America be an armed society but rather because I see that this cannot be stopped.  Even if it is stopped, as I said before, with 220 million guns out there the minute you outlaw guns in America, only outlaws will have guns.   It will be, at a minimum, 50-years of chaos that will make24 dead kindergartners look like a Sunday morning bake sale.

This next part kind of sucks, and I honestly thought long and hard about writing it, but at the end of the day it’s 24 kids and it makes a good news story.

What’s the tired phrase, if it bleeds it leads?

It’s a kind of a popular defense for gun-right activists to say, “if the media would stop reporting these tragedies the way they do they wouldn’t happen.”  Indicating that the psychopaths that do them wouldn’t end up being infamous if no one talked about them and I guess at a base level they’re right but the media is a business and I for one cannot fault them for pushing what sells.

Hell that’s been the norm sense the Romans pitted the Christians against the lions and sold out the Coliseum.

Right or wrong, it sells.

And who are we to fuck with business, free markets always being ‘right’ and all.

Which leaves us with, it’s us.

Perhaps there is some Westborough Baptist Church solution here?  Maybe we all, pro- gun control and gun-rights advocates, could organize and collectively pee on the graves of each shooter on their death day as a sort of ‘fuck you, you’re not famous’ protest’.    Would the media cover it and if they did how cool would that be, news footage of all of us peeing on graves of mass-murderers, I’m laughing about the blurring they’ll have to do right now.

But that wouldn’t work either, not really.

This is a stupid argument unless it isn't.

This is a stupid argument … Unless it isn’t.

I also had this great, I mean it was great, argument about why the ‘ban cars because they kill more people than guns’ argument was stupid.

But as stupid as it is, it’s not really that stupid at all.

Damn it.

What those on the gun control side of the argument think their hearing when the gun right advocates say that is, “well this thing kills more people than guns so let’s ban it even though we know no one will!”

But the reality of the message is, “both of these technologies are here to stay, banning one is as pointless as banning the other and again, neither are going anywhere.”

Because, as I said before, 220 million fucking guns, that we know of.

Let me end this as I (tried) to start it.

Leave gun rights alone.    I have friends that own guns.  I have family that owns guns and I even enjoy shooting guns.  Ninety-nine point nine percent of gun owners are lawful and responsible gun owners.    A general ban on guns will only tear this country apart in a way not seen since the 1860s and gun ownership is a pointless point to do that again.

My next update, I promise, will have much more to do with boobs.

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