I’m still not entirely sure what a blog roll is. It sounds like something you would force an enemy to eat. But in reality, its pretty much the exact opposite. A blog roll is where a blogger promotes other’s blogs.
There’s lot of ways to do it, I’ve been “rolled” a few times and it’s pretty awesome, unlike how it was in the 1920s when it meant you were literally rolled, on the ground, as punishment. Today getting rolled is so awesome I’m going to do the same thing but I’m going to point out the things that annoy me about my favorite blogs because I feel like it.
My complaints are more like pet peeeves, (all these blogs are really good) that note pointless little things that don’t matter to anyone except me.
You see, besides confessing my poop misadventures (and a lot of you wrote me privately that you loved that story … sick fuckers), surfing the latest advancements in boob photography and well, drinking beer, I like to read me some blogs.
Everyone knows I have an online-erection for Oh God My Wife is German. I’m totally out of the closet on this fact. I’d literally go gay for this writer because he’s just that funny. But neither of us are gay and he has a wife who, it turns out, is German.
What is it about Oh God My Wife is German that pisses me off? Moderated comments.
Excuse me, Mr. I Hate Free Speech. Is it too much to ask that a reader comment without the heavy hand of censorship. How am I going to drunkenly and anonymously litter your comments with boob jokes, Nigerian scams and offers to sell your readers discounted Viagra, if you keep fucking moderating speech there like the speech-moderating MONSTER that you are?
And how the fuck do you get ads on your blog, dick? You sold your soul to the devil, didn’t you?
What I do like, is he has a “like” button. This allows others to effortlessly (and sort of pointlessly) indicate they like his latest update. Be sure to like this update too.
Unlike GiGi Eats Celebrities ,who has NO “like” button.
Actually, I don’t even know how I came to know about GiGi Eats Celebrities. I like to think I posted an update with the word “boobalicious” in it, and like an ancient incantation spoken by a wizard, she appeared. That’s not likely what happened, but it really doesn’t matter, because once I was on her blog, I crushed hard. Damn it, look at her.
I don’t even know what the fuck GiGi Eats Celebrities is about to be honest. There were dancing giant leeks with faces drawn on them during one of the video blogs I watched, for fuck’s sake. All I know is that she’s fucking hot. She’s boobalicious in a way that boobalicious can’t even describe.
Sady, Gigi doesn’t literally eat celebrities because when I suggested she snack on Halle Berry, she didn’t even reply to my email. I will follow up with an Angelia Jolie suggestion, I’m not picky with that sort of stuff.
Enough GiGi jokes. Besides being “foxy”, “easy on the eyes”, “a cool drink of
water” and other out-of-date-references for a very-attractive person, GiGi is fucking funny and awesome. In her “About Me” section she says, “Every Tuesday, I will be jumping into pools of maple syrup, rubbing pork fat all over my body, making baby-food cupcakes, working the pole, chopping cabbages, sucking on lollipops, and oh so much more.” That’s all total bullshit because I have been looking for that maple jumping and pork fat stuff a lot and never seen it even once. Don’t get me started on the shocking lack of pole working. I cry foul!
GiGi’s blog is more of a “vlog” which is awesome cause she’s hot. It’s about eating right and points out which celebrity this week has done something dietary, for good or for ill, on that topic. She’s critiques the diet of the people on the show “Survivor,” for fuck’s sake. She’s not only hot, she’s brave. Only the retarded and the brave watch “Survivor.” Seriously, when that show is on in our house I hide.
The trouble with GiGi is she doesn’t offer me a way to pointlessly “like” her updates with a pointless “like” button. Way to be pointless, GiGi! How about adding a fucking “like” button so I don’t have to do this kind of a blog update again, OK? I want to be lazy and you’re fucking that up!
Go read/watch her stuff. Seriously, she’s awesome.
Also GiGi, call me, (but don’t tell my wife) ’cause you’re totally hot.
A few bloggers follow me and aren’t funny at all. They never blog funny boob jokes and make very few penis references or mentions of poop.
One example of a blogger who’s awesome, hot and DOES mention all of the above is Brit in Bavaria. She also has unmoderated comments and a “like” button. But she’s wearing a stupid hat in her profile photo. While I love her take a British citizen living in Bavaria; her humorous look at naked Germans; and insightful post about the German culture, I hate her hat. I want to kill it with fire. Brit’s totally cute, but she’s totally cute with a crappy hat.
That’s it for this blog roll, but there will be plenty more down the road because there are a ton of awesome blogs out there.