Tag Archives: Republicans

An open letter to the GOP … I could love you, I could

Holy fuck, seriously holy fuck, that’s the only way to describe the abortion that is turning out to be the Republican National Convention.

Seriously I just watched the news and Bret Baier from Fox News just threw up on camera and quit after saying “holy fuck, what are we doing here?”

Polls show that ‘zero’ percent (with an error rate of plus OR minus three percent) of African Americans support Mittens but the GOP seems to be obvious to this fact as they’re trying harder and harder to alienate every woman in America.

Seriously, according to the GOP, “you bitches need to get back in the kitchen.” I’d like cookies but I’d like you to vote more.

On the heels of Todd Ryan’s retarded statements about rape we have the joy of Tom Smith who compares the shame the father of a daughter that’s been raped to the shame of a father of a woman that has a baby out of wedlock.

Because it’s 1943 and I can’t even finish this fucking sentence.

Someone, and to the convention’s credit the person was thrown out, tossed peanuts at a CNN reporter trying to do a stand-up report while yelling, “this is how we feed the animals.”

Listen asshole, I’m going to pretend for a moment that you’re not a giant douche bag … that’s NOT how we feed any animal, and she’s just doing her job. You like jobs right? Fuck you you’re not listening anyway.

But, but, but Governor Chris Christie? He waited until the end to mention the robot, I mean Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney ….

Life-long GOP member Orrin Hatch reveals that the GOP is full of bigots by saying, “yeah I think the gays are gross but let’s stop being assholes to them and let them get married.” Welcome aboard Orrin, we need to talk though.

George Bush Junior hasn’t been mentioned because, well George Bush Junior. Actually I can’t fault them there, smart move.

Meanwhile the media can’t ask Mitt about, well anything. This is about the economy for fuck’s sake, stop asking any other questions. No other questions damn you. Nothing else! Obama’s birth certificate is on the table but the Bain Capital earnings are off the table.

The “big tent” is now a shade umbrella that’s in danger of blowing away in the waves of hurricane Isaac.

I’m about to get gross, Mom, Dad and anyone else with a low threshold for gross should stop reading right now, come back in a paragraph or two.

You’ve been warned.

Look Republicans, this is like watching porn. It is. It’s like watching that scene where the girl takes both the guy’s cocks in her mouth at the same time and you and I go, OMG they’re TOUCHING PENISES!

Or Peni or Penis’s or whatever the fuck you say there.

I don’t know.

Maybe that’s the wrong metaphor. But I like boobs so porn metaphors were inevitable.

Deal with it.

It’s like watching a train wreck none the less.

Look, can I speak honestly? As a democrat there are things the GOP believes that, I at least, also believe.

I’m for a strong national defense, Rome without her legions became feudal Europe so yeah, fund defense.

I’m all for personal responsibility but again like Rome, ‘the free grain dole,’ was likely a good idea. Safety nets aren’t bad, without them bad things boil.

If you’re the party of small government, something I, and many Democrats, could really get behind, stop legislating morality.

That’s ‘big’ government … telling my wife, my daughter, my sister and my female friends what they can and cannot do with their bodies is in fact “BIG GOVERNMENT”.

The market’s not God, it needs to be regulated. A market unbound is a sweaty fat man gambling the family savings away with a shady bookie in dark alley.

It needs left and right limits.

I care not one bit if man marries his donkey, really I don’t give a fuck. I also don’t care if two dudes marry or two chicks marry, it’s NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT. What’s important is that two people, no matter the sex, that are committed to a loving and life-long relationship are afforded the same ass-pain you and I are when they realize they hate one another.

There has to be a republican out there, reading this or not, that is a news junkie like me. They also must have realized recently that FOX News is making baby steps toward the center. There is a reason for that, just like they dumped fucktard Glenn Beck.

Mitt and the GOP are going to lose this election and I’m sorry but you didn’t really put up a fight. You punched each other more than you punched the Democrats. We never Democrats never even got our gloves on, we were too shocked watching you all prepare for the fight by killing each other.

Tea Partiers reading this, all none of you, my thoughts follow.

You can teach your kids, it’s wrong to be married to a same sex partners but do you really need to make that a law? The sin’s on the ones that do it, isn’t it?

You can teach your kids, it’s wrong to abort a fetus, but the sin is again on the woman that did it, isn’t it?

Yeah, yeah, it’s a baby an unborn life. But there are thousands of lives that are lost every day, where are you there?

Teach your kids that evolution is wrong but let school teach science. Teach your kids that global warming is wrong but let the schools teach … if your argument is stronger is SHOULD win out in the kids mind, right?

I’ve written, rewritten, refucked, reunfucked this last bit for a week if not the last every year.

And what the fuck am I trying to say is, I don’t know.

Boiled down, you are the least racist, most open party that ever existed in the history of the world. You could, unbridled, change the world, but you, but you but you … if only you could escape the extremist clamps that seem to shackle you.

If you work to exclude you will always lose, it takes a big tent after all.

Someone who used to comment here (hint, hint) said recently on my facebook feed that the GOP needs a strong fiscal leader (I agree) that is a named, hell branded, as a Republican that slides to the left socially.

We have one. He’s not branded Republican but he is exactly what you ask for ….

President Obama, actually.

G-Gank gives me an intervention … the jerk.

Democrats …. Always right except for when they’re wrong and then still mostly right. Yeah G-gank doesn’t do the photo captions. (Photo credit, Wikipedia)

Anyone who is a Jew is the Devil.  Anyone who is a Methodist is freaking jack-off.   Anyone who is Catholic has been brain washed.  Yup there are people that believe this, and say this…. Just like there are people who call you a fucking asshole for the political party you freely choose to endorse. Let’s just suppose that everyone in the United States became a Democrat….  Would the world be a better place?  I don’t think it would, because differences are what challenge people to achieve greater things.

Flag of the United States on American astronau...

Neil Armstrong America’s greatest cyclist. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If we were all Communists, then the space race would have never happened and Neil Armstrong would have been just another guy who raced in the tour de France.

If we were all from Jamaica, sure we would all have killer weed, but shit…. nothing would ever get done because we would all be baked.  (Actually, I firmly believe that the DEA should surrender all confiscated weed to Congress… that would be awesome to see them totally stoned…. it would totally promote harmony.)

You do not have to agree with a person’s political or religious belief but dam it you should not be critical to the point of making personal attacks on that person.  You should commend that person for their beliefs and think openly about the views of others.  It is the closed-minded person who is the real piece of shit for they never expand their thinking and will never achieve greatness.

I lived with a guy who was an atheist and for the life of me I don’t know how he could live his life that way, but I never ridiculed him for his way of thinking.  I have friends who are drum-pounding Democrats but do not think any less of them because of their beliefs.  In fact I try to understand what drives them.  Hell, I have voted for republicans and democrats….  For me it’s not what party they belong to it’s what the individual stands for.

Of course I wish everyone in the world was like me but that would be a really screwed up world.  More importantly, if everyone was like me, I would never be able to get a Tee time at the Golf Course

Now to the point of this whole piece…

When you … I feel … Because …  And I want …

Todd Oliver (the guy running hadafewbeers) please sit down – this is your

Photo caption is “i got nothing” other than I totally stole this from the History Channel. Photo credit, the History Channel.


I know you are my friend but:

When you  – say I am an idiot for supporting a republican, or being a Catholic,

I Feel – Angry and Sad.

Because – your words are hurtful I think it jeopardizes our friendship.

And I want – you to be more considerate for my feelings and have a little respect for my freedom of choice.

Is there anyone else in the room that wants to say something to Todd?

Ok, I see some of you are a bit hesitant to speak up and that’s OK.  Just the fact that you are here today re-enforces the fact that you love Todd.  Not the kind of head-banging love that would bestow upon a big-titted stripper but rather the kind of love one gives to a dear friend.

So the next time you are quick to judge any of us who pay homage to God, Buddha, Jesus, or that fucking 6-hose water bong just remember the world is a better place because we are different and not everyone has to think like you…  so stop forcing people to suck on that Democratic Donkey Dick, after all if we all sucked it there would be nothing left for you.

Baby? No Baby? It’s a choice right?

Here's a link that I think goes to the history of birth control pills. I say I think because it's late and I didn't really read it very well

While it might be fun (for me anyway) to launch into a tirade against the Catholic church’s recent opposition to the Government’s requirement that they include birth control in the health care they offer their employees at Catholic universities and hospitals I’ll try not to.

But mostly I will.

A quick Google search of the church’s reasoning behind this opposition to contraception seems to be that every time a man and a woman engage in the “marital embrace” it’s to make a baby. That’s right the only reason, which I guess in a very strict sense is true, to have sex is to reproduce.

This website even lists several biblical examples of God striking down couples that “hid the miracle of the marital embrace” and were struck down by God’s wrath. God, according to Catholic leadership, really, really likes babies.

One problem I have with this is that according to a study in April of 2011 an astounding 98% of Catholic women support the use of birth control. So even after (presumably) telling Catholic women they shouldn’t use contraceptives 98 out of a hundred either did so or supported the decision too. If you argument is so poorly thought out, so poorly put forward that even your own faithful audience ignores the message, it’s like the message is not a very good (useful) one.

But really that’s between the Catholic church and their followers. Really it is. The problem I have is when the Catholic Church tries to dictate to non-Catholics what contraceptives their health care plans cover (hint it’s none!).

If the U.S. Government was making the Catholic Church use their money to directly spend it on contraceptives, despite their moral opposition, I would be truly offended. But what the church is doing in essence is telling non Catholic employees what they can and cannot do with their own money. If I’m hired tomorrow by a Catholic organization and the job has a health care plan that comes along with it, its part of the salary effectively. The plan is available because I have toiled through time effort and job skills for their organization. In other words I’ve earned it.

Why every woman (hell every man as well but that’s another update) isn’t outraged by this is beyond me but I suspect it has something to do with the Kardashians, desperate housewives and the Jersey Shore.

Is it just a well-timed, “look at what evil President Obama is attempting to make us do” attention grabbing political election year stunt? I don’t know but I’ve already heard every GOP hopeful chime in about it. If the Catholic Church had been this energized about Clergy molesting children there might have been a few less clergy molesting children.

I know, I know, it’s not the same thing. But it does point to an organization that is out of touch with reality in my opinion.

Even the websites listed above point out that contraception isn’t a new phenomenon (though I’d argue safe and effective contraception is). They point

Hopefully this couple had lots of kids, before this happened obviously.

out that there are references to the use of contraception in the bible (referenced as bad of course but still references none the less). I can understand why the church might take this stance if the year was 1012. With high infant mortality rates, plague, starvation and the like would suggest that yes, please do keep the babies coming if for no other reason than to keep the church pews (and pocketbooks) full.

However it’s 2012 and kids today generally have a very, very good chance of, well living. Some of them in our American health care system I understand might even be healthy (and chubby if the most recent statistics are to be trusted). That fact that today’s women have a safe, reliable method of birth control is, arguably, one of the greatest medical advances of all time.

I really don’t care which parts of the bible the Catholic Church chooses to support and which they ignore as long as they do that, inside the church. My opinion though changes radically when they start to enforce that standard on their employees, inflicting their belief on those who are opposed to it. Yeah, yeah, they don’t have to work there but that’s not the point. The employee has earned the right to health care and it’s not the church’s say as to whether that health care covers contraceptives. This is exactly (well one of many) reason we needed government health care reform.

Finally I do understand that many health care companies routinely disallow certain services. Mental health and dental care are primary examples; need I bring up pre-existing conditions? Access to contraception isn’t one that insurance companies, outside of their dealing s with the church were not one of them. It’s far, far cheaper to pay (from the insurance company and the from the insured’s perspective) for contraception than it is to pay for a baby carried to term or an abortion.

The GOP and their candidates have already started to use this contraception issue as a talking point for repealing “Obama care” ignoring the fact that this was exactly the kind of thing that regulation of our health care system can do right. In essence it forces an employer to be fair to an employee regardless of that person’s faith.