Well, it’s been about a week and a half since I posted something here, and during that time I discovered I was a famous blogger. OK, maybe I’m not famous, but certainly I am influential, and if not famous or influential, then certainly I’m a leader among academics.
I know this because of the spam that has ravaged this blog while I was away.
Normally, I try to post something once or twice a week. No one will accuse me of being the Stephen King of blogs to be sure. It’s a pretty easy pace to keep up.
But there was no update last week because I was on vacation (more on that in a later update) where my liver divorced me, my skin was subjected to cancer-inducing levels of sunlight and some fiend of a person known as my wife subjected me to leg-aching forced marches. (All of which was good fun except for the last part.)
“Hey, can we go another six miles?” asked the drill-sergeant wife.
Me: “Honey, do you understand the point behind vacation? Sigh. Yes, it’s your vacation too, let’s go another six-god-awful-miles. Do you want to carry the backpack for a bit? No? Shit.”
The vacation brings me to the famous, influential and academic bits. It was during this bliss and blister filled week that the normally tight and effective spam blockers at work here at WordPress also took a holiday. Spammers hit me here like a gangster collecting back payments, fast and hard.
This was a bitch too cause I was on, as I said, vacation.
If you’re unfamiliar, traveling with a smart phone to countries outside of your home country induces a beer-spitting, screen-spraying “holy-shit that costs how much” level of a phone bill. A simple text to a loved one saying “Wish you were here,” can throw you into bankruptcy and updating Facebook will cost you a kidney in some places.
So, with that in mind, I tend to turn off the data roaming while on vacation. But in the mornings, while enjoying a great cup of instant coffee and watching the one British channel we received (which oddly featured only British reality shows of a mechanical nature – the “buy a used car and fix it in order to sell” it variety), I would turn data-roaming on and check the news and the blog.
It should have been a simple routine if not for spammy spammers and their fucking spam. But at least I learned some things about myself.
I mean consider this comment …
“Spot on with this write-up, I honestly believe this website needs a lot more attention.
I’ll probably be back again to see more, thanks for the info!”
I mean, I don’t know who the fuck email@example.com, but he understood that my in-depth and insightful write up about a guy caught masturbating for money on the internet and lambasted on U.S. Army’s WTF Moments blog was … something. What, we’re not sure, it was just … who knows.
“I like it whenever people come together and share views.
Great website, continue the good work!”
That was written by free live sex cams, crap I mean firstname.lastname@example.org, who also liked my U.S. Army WTF Moments update, but thought it was more of a collaborative effort. Free live sex cams being the place Reece Riley was trying to push. It was collaborative in a sense, Dave (an administrator at the site) Fran and I did collaborate on it, I guess.
Live sex tube just hopes I post more … live sex tube likes that kind of thing it seems.
“Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wished to
say that I have really enjoyed browsing your weblog
posts. After all I’ll be subscribing in your feed and I hope you write once more very soon!”
Live sex tube has not subscribed to my weblog. I’m as disappointed as you are.
Tawanna who is either British or functionally retarded (you pick) writes …
“Hi there mates, how is the whole thing, and what you want to say
on the topic of this paragraph, in my view its in fact awesome
How is it indeed Tawanna? I can tell you dear, it’s spammy with a taste of spam and sprinkled with extra, extra spam.
The comments weren’t all posted on a blog about a guy masturbating for money
on the American tax dollar though, no sir. The spammers also left two comments about my retarded and drunken lambasting of the Olympics (because nothing says good blog like a lush saying great athletes suck, right?)
“I have already been instructing a category and that we are considering this particular topic over the following 7 days.”
“I will be pointing my own university scholar to check out this post once and for all information I have already been meaning to create something such as this on my own web site and you’ve got provided me personally a concept”
See that shit? That comment contained the words “university,” “scholar” AND nothing else at all … I just wanted to point out that someone used the term “scholar” in the same reference as hadafewbeers.com … Success!
What the fuck?
WordPress, in their defense, normally does a very good job at blocking spam but these spamtards got all stealthy and didn’t include the links in their comments, only in their address, which I guess tripped up the spam killer.
Anyway, these comments prove spammers love me, so suck it!